By Reagan Hilton
![](https://tedxreno.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/TEDxReno-Dr.-Judy-Ho.jpg)
Hot off the press!! Our very first talk has been released.
Do you talk to yourself? Most of us do.
But Self Talk is prone to glitches and bugs, explains Dr. Judy Ho in her talk. Our brain oversimplifies, catastrophizes, and creates rules of thumb that are not accurate, balanced or complete.
In her talk she prompts us to write down our worries for 10 days and then review to see if any of it materializes.
When study participants did this 91.4% of their fears never materialized. We bet yours won’t either.
Negative self-talk can rob us of our best lives.
But never fear . . . just like we can update the operating system in our computer, we can change our self-talk by doing a few things.
Dr. Judy recommends that you take an inventory – write down your thoughts and you might notice you have more negative thoughts than positive.
Why is our brain more negative?
Self-talk comes from early experiences due to our attachment bonds. Those first emotional bonds with our primary caregivers. If they weren’t so good, we can form negative self images.
We build connections from our first days. We build connections and from a series of experiences with our attachment figures we develop ideas about ourselves.
We learn how to communicate our needs, how people respond and whether we feel safe.
In the middle of the experience, we may not realize the impact. But repeated and reinforced over time create important emotional imprints that go into our core beliefs.
Our brain favors shortcuts and rules that make us cope with things in the future the way we coped in the past.
Learn from Dr. Judy about the types of attachments that can drive your self-talk to be negative or positive.
Secure attachment
Anxious attachment
Avoidant attachment
Disorganized attachment
Dr. Judy shares how you can change. You only need one secure attachment, and that attachment is to yourself.
It’s called reparenting.
Learn how you can change your negative self-talk and self-image by reparenting.
Here are some examples of reparenting.
Establish healthy boundaries
Celebrate accomplishments.
Prioritize your needs without guilt.
Cultivate meaningful and healthier relationships with others.
Listen to your inner child and validate the emotions.
Engage in self-care.
Forgive yourself of past mistakes.
Make decisions according to dop values.
Remind yourself you are deserving of love and belonging.
You are inherently worthy.
Watch Dr. Judy’s talk now!