By Reagan Hilton
Photo Credit: Jeramie Lu
In her TEDx talk, Alex Carter, a Columbia Law professor and negotiation expert, shares a refreshing take on negotiation. It’s not about locking horns or outsmarting the other person—it’s about steering relationships, just like she learned (the hard way!) in a kayak on her honeymoon.
One of her most eye-opening tips? Curiosity pays off. Instead of diving into arguments, start by asking open-ended questions like “Tell me about…” Not only will this help you gather more information, but it’s also an easy way to build rapport. Once you’ve asked, her golden rule is simple: “Zip it.” Silence can be powerful, and letting the other person talk will often lead to better outcomes.
Alex also encourages us to change how we view those on the other side of the table. Turn your adversary into a partner. Negotiation isn’t a battlefield; it’s a collaborative effort. When you pull the other person to your side of the table and work together, everyone wins.
Photo Credit: Jeramie Lu
Whether you’re negotiating for a raise or figuring out family plans, Alex’s advice can transform how you approach life’s everyday negotiations.
For more tips that could change the way you negotiate, check out her full TEDxReno talk here:
